I spend a good amount of time alone. There’s no need to feel badly for me because I actually really like it. Life hasn’t always granted me this opportunity and I know this season won’t last forever, so I embrace it as fully as I know how. Plus, it’s just who I’ve always been. For all my life, I’ve prefered the smaller group to the large and a few friends instead of the posse.
Time is mine.
It’s now been ten months I’ve lived in the Washington, D.C. area. I’ve explored museums and monuments at my leisure. I’ve boarded the metro with no destination in mind only to sit in a park for hours. I’ve walked along the Potomac River dreaming of living on a sailboat. I’ve been to every coffee shop I know exists within a respectable radius…far too many coffee shops. If you find yourself in the vicinity, Grape + Bean and M.E. Swing are my top recommendations in Alexandria.
I do things. I work, run, go to church and Bible studies. I occupy myself with other random social events and the occasional coffee date with friends (as if I don’t consume enough coffee). I’m sipping a latte right now. Regardless, I block off personal time like it’s untouchable, holy. I’m convinced it should be untouched to a degree. I hear story upon story from people I know. I hear stories of work and life balance. I hear stories of frustration and regret. They don’t have time for anything. They don’t know how they can possibly set boundaries in order to make time for themselves and a book or themselves and a wooded trail. They can’t recuperate from stresses. I’m beginning to see how much I actually crave their problem. Maybe I don’t crave it to this extent, but you probably get my point.
I need to make myself busy. I don’t need to make myself busy for the sake of being busy. I need to be intentional with my time.
Time is not mine.
I need to give time. Who can argue that time is one of the best gifts a person can give to others?
People want to be heard. I like to be heard.
People want to be loved. I like to be loved.
People want to be known. I like to be known, too.
There are innumerable individuals who come to mind. They are people who could use practical help, folks who can use a listening ear. They are people who can help me learn and grow.
Time has seemed to be mine, but I feel I need to relinquish it. Yes, I need to relinquish every last minute…all the way up to my personal time. I still need alotted moments for sitting on a rock by the river talking to God or scribbling away in a journal. I still need the personal time, yes. All the same, I want to release that time too. I want to release it to God. He must guide my hours.
It seems like a large undertaking, just like everything else in life. I could probably categorize and make a chart, figure it out logically. But I don’t think that’s what God wants. Should I make a plan and map out my day? Sure, why not? Should I hold tightly to these plans? Heck no.
If He’s put me here for His fame, I’m sure HE has better strategies and means than I could ever chart.
If I’m here to proclaim His majesty and love for His people, I’m sure He wants me to spend time with them.
And the sweetest thing about all of this is, when one intentionally spends time with people, they find themselves impacted just as much…maybe more than the other.
He loves His children. We are invaluable.