Seeking Still

Life is often hard, but we generally make it out to be more difficult than it has to be.

At least, I do…

If there has been a single theme in my life, it has the pursuit (and lack thereof) of Jesus. And then there’s a little floundering. And then, there’s desperate pursuit again. It might very well be the theme of your life, too. Maybe you’re better at the pursuit. Maybe, more frequently, you find yourself staggering.

You know that verse that talks about all of life coming down to just One thing? It couldn’t be more true.

I always learn this. Every time, I learn that searching out my Father’s heart in everything is in fact everything. He is all.

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– Recently, I’ve been having some weird dreams. If I revealed them, I might be admitted to a mental institution. Maybe not, maybe dreams are supposed to be that strange. Either way, I am not particularly fond of these dreams. A few days ago, I was drowsily getting ready for work immediately after waking up from one of these bizarre sleeping experiences. I talked to God about them and was urged to pray for meaningful dreams. Then, He revealed to me that He will only give me dreams from Him if I seek Him. And maybe some will seem to be obscure, but He will only give me meaningful ones. The thing is, I really believe Him.

– -For many months, I’ve been wanting to write more. I’ve had many failed attempts of regularly pounding on my keyboard. And I’ve lacked inspiration. What I’m finding (in fact, I knew it all along), is He is my inspiration. He told me He would give me words to write if only I seek Him fervently. I believe Him about this, too.

– – – I can’t abstain from the relationship subject. I play it off really well, I think. People think I’m satisfied being single. Many times I am! But there are so many instances in which I ache. That’s the only word for it…ache. I somewhat despise this subject because it makes me uncomfortable. But if I’m honest, it weighs on me increasingly more as time carries on. The only solitary thing that can relieve the angst is resting in Him, seeking His face. I fully credit this remedy. In His presence, I find how to “tackle” this arena. Because sometimes, the accompanying self-pitying thoughts require an aggresive blitz.

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– – – – I dislike when I get caught up in debatable things that don’t have eternal significance. The things taking hold of my mind do matter and are worthy of attention, but ultimately, they will never be in the same league as what really, really is important. A lot of my friends (aka: young adults navigating the beginning of “real” life) seem to struggle with this as well. In searching for a meaningful, advocating life, we find ourselves with more and more questions about justice, truth, and well…truth. This is so often the particular thing that causes me anguish…formulating questions. I believe it is essential to wrestle through issues, but God is teaching me to seek Him first versus trying to figure out how to save the world.

“In the seeking, You will find me. I will teach You what you need to know.” -God

Hard things, hard questions, hard feats will always come our way. And I’m thoroughly convinced that the more we follow Him, the more difficulties we will know. He wants to use us to do unfathomable things that will usher in His Kingdom.  But I’m also certain we will better be able to steer through these obstacles because we recognize He is with us.

Out of everything I’ve learned in my quarter-century life, the most paramount is that seeking Him is the only time I am satisfied.

And furthermore (if I can add an appendage, but an essential one), when we seek Him, we find Him. He does in fact respond like He promises.

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Let’s keep seeking.

Or maybe we need to begin pursuing Him once again.

May we be encouraged. He is waiting for us! And He’s always ready to lavish the most undeniably extraordinary love upon us.

“In Your light I will find all I need is You.” -All Sons and Daughters

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